Tag Archives: Sean Hannity

Sean Hannity: Presidential Proctologist! Ignoring the hand that groped you edition

Sean Hannity: Presidential Proctologist is livid—livid, I tells ya—that liberals are letting Harvey Weinstein off the hook. According to Sean, losing his job, his wife, and his standing in polite society is proof that the Left not only doesn’t care but endorses sexual predation.

On the other hand, Donald Trump bragging (to Billy Bush, of all people) about how, because of his stardom, he can get away with grabbing ladies by their lady parts, and the dozen women who claimed “The Apprentice” host engaged in unwanted sexual behavior…not a problem.

And after pointing an accusatory finger at every Democrat who ever stood on a stage with Weinstein, (or applauded when Roman Polanski won his Oscar)—but didn’t Sean have multiple sexual abuser Bill O’Reilly on his show, what…two weeks ago? And how long did Sean keep quiet while Roger Ailes attempted to grope every blonde on Fox News?

The hypocrisy is breathtaking …

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Take The Fox News-heads Bolling

Fox News: as Harry Shearer puts it, “Nice people doing nice things.”

Now it’s Eric Bolling, who since Bill O’Reilly’s departure has become the channel’s most favored blowhard, has discovered that you just can’t reach out and grab ’em by the pussy—or make send them pictures of what NPR, the nation’s maiden aunt who whispers whenever she’s talking about sex (and also a national treasure that must be funded), primly describes as “unsolicited photo of male genitalia” (or, as I imagine he calls it, his “Bolling pin”).

That makes three of Il Douché’s high-profile Fox News defenders who have been forced away from the station over sexual harassment. Roger Ailes and O’Reilly preceded him out the door before him; a fourth—Bill Shine—has been touted as a replacement for Anthony Scaramucci). That qualifies as a trend, doesn’t it? And tells us something of the mindset of Tr**p supporters. Jesse Watters, an overgrown frat boy who looks like the kind of guy who doesn’t believe date rape exists, had better start erasing his browser history. Or ask Tr**p about that computer “acid washing” he goes on about.

What about Sean Hannity: Presidential Proctologist? I don’t think he’s capable of sexual feeling. He probably masturbates to videos of Tr**p rallies. Instead, he forces his employees sit through that movie he produced and is flogging on his show, a turgid God-fearing melodrama called “Let There Be Light.” Going by the trailer, the movie—the tale of the “Muhammad Ali of outspoken atheist celebrities” (how awful is he? his book is titled “Aborting God”)  whose non-faith is tested by a family tragedy—combines of the subtly of Ayn Rand, the clunky plotting of the “Left Behind” movies, and acting inspired by “Davey and Goliath.”


Obscene Paragraphs: Forty Loesches Edition

This is the face of evil.

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This is Dana Loesch, the NRA’s Spokes-virago.

They’ve  released a new ad that is jaw-droppingly awful, even considering the source. This rancid, bile-spewing harpy claiming to be the voice of “we the people,” goes on an unhinged minute-long rampage against the New York Times, putting the paper on notice that she will not stand for their “narratives” (one wonders how she expects it tell stories without narratives. I doubt she has much use for the  experimental novels of Ronald Sukenik or Robbe-Grillet. Is this now a coded term on the right, like “cosmopolitan“?).

“Narrative” is not the only odd locution in the ad. She sneers out her contempt for what she claims is The Times “protection of [its] Democrat overlords” and the paper’s “pretentious” assertion that is it “truth or fact-based journalism.” She also engages in a bit of protection, claiming that the Times “refuses to accept any truth that upsets the fragile construct that [it] considers ‘real life’,” which is odd, since “refusing to accept any truth that upsets a fragile construct” is practically the slogan of Sean Hannity: Presidential Proctologist, and other pro-Tr**p media.

She’s not done, though. Things really gets strange about 30 seconds in, where she promises to “fist” the paper. Some believe she actually says “Fisk,” as in a detailed analysis, but that’s tough to square with the her promise to find “just what deep, rich means” to the paper she calls an “old gray hag,” who, if that’s not bad enough, is a “dishonest, untrustworthy rag,”  before falling into a Randian swoon, claiming that it has “subsisted on the welfare of mediocrity” for “one, two, three more decades.” (Notwithstanding the sudden change of tense, what does this mean?). She promises lasers (maybe she’ll find polyps?) and more unpleasantness before getting to what, you have to think, is the meat of her message: “we’re coming for you.”

Plus the video is accompanied on the NRA site by the hastag #ClenchedFistOfTruth. (Then again, just about everything about Loesch could be described as “clenched.”

Is this what we have become after a little more than half -a-year of Tr**p? Where an  organization representing an armed populace feels comfortable enough to make public threats against the Free Press. When a group that believes not just gun possession but open carry should be legal calls on its membership to go after a newspaper, how soon before they rustle up an armed posse to visit Times bureaus across the country, to say nothing of its headquarters. Does the NRA really believe that the Second Amendment trumps the first?

If they do, were probably in more trouble than we think.

 

 

 


Obscene Paragraphs—Yes, the New Yorker Edition

The Mooch mooched his way into the a White House dinner last night. Most people wouldn’t think that’s something to hide, but in the Il Douché Administration, that’s not always the case. When the New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza reported on the seemingly innocuous meal (also getting only one scoop of ice cream while Il Douché enjoys two were the First Lady, Sean Hannity: Presidential Proctologist!, and former Fox executive Bill Shine) that, in a normal administration, would have been announced to public as part of the President’s calendar. But the Mooch saw something darker; he saw it as the work of that emptiest of empty suits, Reince Priebus. He even imagines Priebus’ scheming: “‘Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months’.”

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“I’m sorry Ma’am , but you’re not on my list. ” Anthony Scaramucci, trying to look tough working the VIP entrance at Mar-A-Lago (photo credit: Jabin Botsford / The Washington Post / Getty)

Yes, America, it took only six months before Tr**p—who has been teasing the firing of Jeff Sessions like a season ending cliffhanger—turned the Federal Government into  The White Housewives of America.

Of course, the Mooch had to get to the bottom of the seemingly bottomless well of Douché palace intrigue. Who leaked his dinner plans?, he demanded, like Captain Queeg ranting about strawberries.

What’s truly stunning is when he tries to appeal to Lizza’s better angels:

You’re an American citizen, this is a major catastrophe for the American country. So I’m asking you as an American patriot to give me a sense of who leaked it.”

Yes, this leak (and leak is really too strong a word for it. Idle gossip is probably closer to the truth) is a major catastrophe. Thank God that we don’t know how he ordered his steak.

 


When Did Fox News Becomes So Sensitive?

Bob Bechel was always Fox News version of a “liberal”: rumpled, his honk of a voice scuffed by years of cigarettes, whiskey, and screaming, a little bloated, either coming off of or just about to start a five-day bender. On “The Five”, he made the perfect punching bag for Eric Bolling, a barrel-chested bully, and Greg Gutfield, the 50-ish former editor of Maxim who is Fox’s idea of a young person. And they fired him for “for making an insensitive remark to an African-American employee.”
Given what is said on camera about African-Americans (and didn’t Sean Hannity, Presidential Proctologist recently point a loaded gun at Juan Williams), you have to wonder what, exactly, he said…

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