The Mooch mooched his way into the a White House dinner last night. Most people wouldn’t think that’s something to hide, but in the Il Douché Administration, that’s not always the case. When the New Yorker’s Ryan Lizza reported on the seemingly innocuous meal (also getting only one scoop of ice cream while Il Douché enjoys two were the First Lady, Sean Hannity: Presidential Proctologist!, and former Fox executive Bill Shine) that, in a normal administration, would have been announced to public as part of the President’s calendar. But the Mooch saw something darker; he saw it as the work of that emptiest of empty suits, Reince Priebus. He even imagines Priebus’ scheming: “‘Let me leak the fucking thing and see if I can cock-block these people the way I cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months’.”
Yes, America, it took only six months before Tr**p—who has been teasing the firing of Jeff Sessions like a season ending cliffhanger—turned the Federal Government into The White Housewives of America.
Of course, the Mooch had to get to the bottom of the seemingly bottomless well of Douché palace intrigue. Who leaked his dinner plans?, he demanded, like Captain Queeg ranting about strawberries.
What’s truly stunning is when he tries to appeal to Lizza’s better angels:
You’re an American citizen, this is a major catastrophe for the American country. So I’m asking you as an American patriot to give me a sense of who leaked it.”
Yes, this leak (and leak is really too strong a word for it. Idle gossip is probably closer to the truth) is a major catastrophe. Thank God that we don’t know how he ordered his steak.