Category Archives: Politics

Sean Hannity: Presidential Proctologist! Ignoring the hand that groped you edition

Sean Hannity: Presidential Proctologist is livid—livid, I tells ya—that liberals are letting Harvey Weinstein off the hook. According to Sean, losing his job, his wife, and his standing in polite society is proof that the Left not only doesn’t care but endorses sexual predation.

On the other hand, Donald Trump bragging (to Billy Bush, of all people) about how, because of his stardom, he can get away with grabbing ladies by their lady parts, and the dozen women who claimed “The Apprentice” host engaged in unwanted sexual behavior…not a problem.

And after pointing an accusatory finger at every Democrat who ever stood on a stage with Weinstein, (or applauded when Roman Polanski won his Oscar)—but didn’t Sean have multiple sexual abuser Bill O’Reilly on his show, what…two weeks ago? And how long did Sean keep quiet while Roger Ailes attempted to grope every blonde on Fox News?

The hypocrisy is breathtaking …

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The Only Thing That Can Stop A Bad Guy On Two Feet…

OK, Dana Loesch and the NRA. I’m quite willing to accept your (moronic) contention that feet are as must a threat as guns.

In return, I ask that we limit the number of guns each Second Amendment-loving American can own to exactly equal to the number of feet they possess. By agreeing to this (modest) proposal, I think all Americans will feel safer, knowing they are protected from stampedes. Especially of the gunman-related variety.


Donald Trump, Empath of Genius

“Every death is a horror, but if you look at a real catastrophe like Katrina, and you look at the tremendous hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people that died, and you look at what happened here and what is your death count? Sixteen people, versus in the thousands…You can be very proud. Sixteen versus literally thousands of people.”—Donald Trump, comforting the people of Puerto Rico, October 3, 2017

“I will tell you that, in my conversations with the President and in my experience with the president — that his passion and his love for the American people and concern about their welfare is unending. And what he has seen in this is what all of us have seen when you watch the television and you see the situation — the tragic situation that many individuals are in. And his heart goes out to them, as does everybody’s heart.”—Then-Secretary of Health and Human Services Tom Price, quoted in the Washington Post, August 30, 2017

“(F)or the next four years at least, we have a president who is anything but empathetic. We call this a bad thing and even hold protests to claim Trump’s lack of empathy is terrible for the nation. But is it?—Suzanne Venker, Washington Examiner, January 27, 2017

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The past few weeks have certainly put Ms. Venker’s question to the test. The President has thanked battered Texans for their turnout when he visited the state after Hurricane Harvey, tweeted that ungrateful Puerto Ricans wanted everything done for them, and today, both congratulated/dissed the U.S. Territory for not dying in the numbers racked up by Hurricane Katrina in 2006. Which makes you wonder, what kind of speeches can we expect if we do if, for at least the next four years, have a president who is lacking in empathy….

You never want to hear that someone died from any disease, but you didn’t have anywhere near as may deaths as a real health crisis like the Smallpox Epidemic of 1918 Hundreds of thousands of people—worldwide! hundreds of thousands—were killed. That was some bad hombre of a virus! But you should be proud, very proud, that, in 1976, only 34 people died of Legionnaire’s Disease. That’s 34, against thousands.—speaking at a Philadelphia American Legion Convention

 Nine lives….nine. Like a cat. And every one a tragedy. But you should be proud that your casualties were less than a real mass killer like Charles Whitman in Austin.—At a rally in Charleston, South Carolina

Yes, your beautiful city lost many man thousands of people when Harry Truman—who was, and not many people know this, he was a Democrat—dropped the second A-Bomb here. And you should be proud. But you didn’t have as much destruction like that real atomic bomb blast in Hiroshima—speaking at a memorial service in Nagasaki, Japan

The plane crash that took Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper (the biggest! Thank you…Thank you) and that young Mexican singer was a tragedy, but not like that real plane crash that nearly ended the career of Lynyrd Skynyrd.—dedicating the Buddy Holly Memorial.

 

 


Trump Agonistes

Remember when the GOP complained that liberals were softies, because they all expect to get participation trophies?

But what to make of Il Douché, pouting that the press isn’t reporting about the good things happening a in Puerto Rico (somehow not understanding that it’s taken over a week for any kind of movement), they’re also dismissing how much he helped Luther Strange (or, as he is now referred to, “the candidate I endorsed,” his name apparently stricken from all records, the supportive tweets now consigned to the memory hole…)! q


Donald Trump, Patsy

Here’s a headline from Breitbart. It looks like they’re going to explain away Il Douché’s deal-making apostasy in the much the same way they did Reagan’s: Those wily Democrats fooled him!

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They’ll tell you that Reagan was a great president, a master tactician and communicator, in full control of his faculties…except when the Democrats tricked him into that amnesty deal…and made him raise taxes….and, oh yeah, forced him to make a deal with Iran to fund the contras which he totally didn’t want to do but had to…because the Democrats passed a law making funding the Contras illegal.
The difference is that in Reagan’s case, they had the grace and good manners to wait a few years before revising history; today, they’re doing it on the fly, adapting their  excuses as the President treats policy decisions like Faye Dunaway in Chinatown: “They’re the Dreamers/They’re Illegal….”They’re the Dreamers/They’re Illegal….”

Preaching to the KORUS

You didn’t think a natural disaster would stop the man-made disaster currently ensconced in the Oval Office, did you?

Because, even though Il Douché is currently focussed on Hurricane Harvey: visiting Houston, telling residents there was “a lot of water, a lot of water,” marveling at the “happiness” all around him, and telling the crowd to “have a good time,” there were other things on his mind. Namely, South Korea.

According to the Washington Post, the President is considering withdrawing from a free trade deal with South Korea, known as KORUS. Senior advisors, including H.R. McMaster, Defense Secretary Jim Mattis, and National Economic Council Director Gary Cohn are trying to talk him out of leaving.

Eye of the Koreacane

And it’s not just because of the hit the American consumer to take if we withdraw. Cellphones, electronic devices such as TVs and computers, and automobiles will become more expensive, but more importantly, it could isolate South Korea at a time when the North is growing more belligerent.

There has to be some reason why would anyone want to roil the waters of an already unstable area:

Trump has expressed widespread frustration that he has not been able to follow through on campaign promises to rip up trade deals that he argues have disadvantaged U.S. workers. He came close several months ago to starting a withdrawal from the North American Free Trade Agreement, but he stopped short after intense lobbying by advisers and the business community.

He needs to appease his base. Harvey has forced him to confront reality —even touting the necessity of the federal government—and that is driving the Breitbart wing crazy. Or, to be precise, crazier. Sebastian Gorka, who appearently can’t not sound like a bad James Bond villian, warned that “it is clear to me that forces that do not support the MAGA promise are – for now – ascendant within the White House.”  McMaster and Cohn are scorned as “globalists” by the alt-right, so their opposition to withdrawing only makes Breitbart, InfoWars, and Sean Hannity: Presidential Proctologist!  cheer it on harder.  Steve Bannon may be out of the West Wing, but his influence lingers, like a cheap cologne.

 

 


Obscene Paragraphs—Begging the Pardon Edition

This gem leapt out at me while reading the NYTimes’ report on Il Douché’s press conference today with the Finnish President. He was asked about his pardon of the risible Joe Arpaio:

“I thought he was treated unbelievably unfairly,” Mr. Trump said during a joint news conference with President Sauli Niinisto of Finland in the East Room of the White House. The president and Mr. Arpaio share a hard line on illegal immigration and unapologetic support of the police, and the former sheriff was an ardent backer of Mr. Trump’s campaign last year.

On the other hand, he apparently believes that shackling a pregnant woman is just peachy. That’s the kind of tough policing tinhorn dictators admire.


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