Category Archives: 2016 Presidental election

War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Trump

Is this a preview of the world-class deal-making we’re being  promised by Il Douché? “We did discuss the wall. We didn’t discuss payment of the wall. That’ll be for a later date…” In other words: I’m going to build worlds’ hugest, most beautiful wall (which you are definitely going to pay for); you have no problem with that, and and we can talk about paying me the full price (which you are still definitely going to do)….whenever.


Of course, the gang over at (a wholly-owned subsidiary of Il Douché Communications) see this nothing less than a pure victory. He’s sure pulled the wool over those libtard eyes, they snicker, as they print “publish”on headlines such as this:


Screen Shot 2016-08-31 at 5.23.13 PM



They all better hope that  Cheeto Jesus is using the campaign as a springboard for a media empire…


Lewandowski down!

Il Douché finally let go of Corey Lewandowski, his pugnacious, overmatched campaign manager and the winner of this year’s H.R. Halderman charm school and hair salon trophy. And it was not pretty. Staff meeting at 8, unemployed by 9.

According to Breitbart, a website that trawls the bottom of the Right-wing internet swamp, giving it the best chance of getting the campaign’s least-filtered Cheeto dust, it was even uglier than you imagined. According to their story—no link, I’m not going to send any traffic their way—Lewandowski was let go in a way that makes it easy to believe that the Boardroom scenes in “The Apprentice” were not too far removed from reality:

“At the meeting, attended by both senior campaign staff and members of the family, Trump reviewed different campaign metrics that were all faltering: cooperation with party leaders, fundraising, surrogate operations and most importantly the polls,” all aspects of the campaign where Lewandowski was, for lack of a better term, “project manager.” And when asked what can be done to stop the bleeding, his best idea was to announce the VP candidate.

That got a “you’re fired” from Il Douché, and a statement distributed by the campaign that wouldn’t have been out-of-place in a Variety story: “The Donald J. Trump Campaign for President, which has set a historic record in the Republican Primary having received almost 14 million votes, has today announced that Corey Lewandowski will no longer be working with the campaign. The campaign is grateful to Corey for his hard work and dedication and we wish him the best in the future.”  I’m especially enamored by the clunkiness of “Donald J. Trump Campaign for President,” followed by a parenthetical boast. I can think of so many others that work just as well: The Donald J. Trump Campaign for President, celebrating one year of being proudly fact-free; The Donald J. Trump Campaign for President, on a course for a record-breaking loss in the general election… add your suggestions in the comments section.

The reaction from Breitbart’s anonymous source (although given the dismissive nature of the comments, it could be “John Miller”)  follows suit, sounding less like a campaign operative than a network marketing executive: “The VP pick was the one piece of suspense that would make people tune into the convention—Corey wanted to give that away now? There was no way.”

Or to put it another way: Corey Lewandowski is the second instance of a man being killed over lousy ratings.


Dampening the Bern….

A few weeks ago I was looking forward to casting my ballot for Bernie…I liked his focus on economic inequality, and thought the time was right for an old, cranky Jew to live in the White House…let the rest of the country experience the seders where, after the third glass of wine,  great-uncle Manny starts spouting off . And I thought it would be good for the DNC to be chastised, and a good showing for Bernie might nudge them away from centrist-DLC neoliberalism. But as the California primary looms, I’m having my doubts.
Stories like this have me concerned. Senator Sanders has run a great campaign, and the party has moved to the left. We owe him a great deal for that. But the way to cement those gains isn’t to piss off the presumptive candidate and the party apparat. I worry that he’s started to take his revolutionary rhetoric seriously, and he expects to sweep into the convention like a dyspeptic Joan of Arc, and be given the nomination by acclimation.  Not sure I want to encourage that. It’s a political fever dream, and one more likely to end wit him being burned at the stake on national TV. The best way for him to end things is to call Mrs. Clinton Wednesday morning, congratulate her on a great win, and offer to do whatever can he do to help in the general.
Otherwise, he’s going to be Nader redux, and his legacy will be the man who helped elect Il Douché president.  I  don’t want any part of that….
Is Lyndon LaRouche still running?

Never Waste a Crisis…

Remember when the GOP took to their fainting couch over Rahm Emmanuel’s belief  that you “never let a crisis go to waste“? Well, Ted Cruz obviously never got the memo.

Mere hours after the tragic bombings in Brussels, before we even know how many were killed in this latest tragedy, Ted was out on the hustings, making sure this crisis was of maximum utility, one that allows him to claim that his jack-boot over-reactions are rational policies. Repeating the words “radical Islamic terrorism” didn’t have the magic effect Frank Gaffney said it would, and the adults in the room refuse to carpet bomb anyone, so why not try some good old-fashioned police action.

You have to worry what kind of mind believes that having police forces, armed to the teeth and looking like they’ve stepped out of a battlefield (because munitions makers have never been known to let an international crisis go to waste), acting like an occupying force in your neighborhood certainly would tamp down radicalization. Yes, because having the government look like they’ve declared war against you wouldn’t buttress an ISIS recruiter’s sales pitch.

Not that Trump’s been any better, but this time Ted almost made Him seem reasonable.

Trump Cards

Donald Trump–Il Douché, He who would make America great again–only gets scarier. Talking to the Washington Post, he announced his foreign policy brain trust–that is, after His brain which, as he has bragged, is also very big (or, as he might put it, He has no problems “up there”). They’re a motley group, assembled from the spare parts left over from the Bush years, a couple of energy and munitions businessmen, and a cast-off from the Carson campaign (so, Il Douché didn’t only promise Ben a job, He extended his largess to his advisors).

But the big takeaway from His chat with the Post’s editorial board (He actually showed up to their new offices, the Post’s story squealed, the “take that, cable news shows” implied, like a high school co-ed telling her friends the school’s star QB is coming to her party) is that Europe shouldn’t feel so superior these days. After scaring the crap out of the Middle East, Asia, and Latin America, he now aims his powerful deal-making intellect on the Continent. And guess what? We don’t need them.

His big idea: diminish the US role in NATO. Yes, you read that right. He’s taken out that “Make America Great Again” green eyeshade, run the numbers through his Trump-branded calculator, and sorry, Europe, they just don’t add up. Does the US benefit? “Personally, I don’t think so….I think we were a very powerful, very wealthy country, and we are a poor country now.”

Because the first way to make any country great is to shrug and demand a diminished presence on the world stage.

I know he probably wouldn’t allow it, but perhaps Randy Newman can allow Il Douché to use this song as a theme….

Cruzin’ with Raphael: Wall To Wall Carpet Bombing Edition

Every once in a while, when you least expect it, one of the GOP Presidential candidates slips up, and says something honest. Today it’s Ted Cruz  who has taken the truth serum. And he does it in the oddest place: a white paper laying out his military policies, American Resolve: Rebuilding America’s Military.

It’s filled with all the usual GOP palaver: protecting the borders (or, Keeping Up With Trump), inability to influence global events, and “irresponsible defense cuts” (by which I think he means the Sequester, that across-the-board cut in spending demanded as ransom when the GOP too the budget hostage in 2011). He returns to the old hits: leading from behind, global instability, caused by The Nation (always capped, a typographic tic that reads like a  knee-jerk salute) not imposing our “American values” around the world. And because there’s no separation of Church and State in Ted Cruz’s world, the result of all this is to “deprive the United States of of its God-given potential.”

And, once he’s warmed up, Cruz (the least likable and telegenic candidate for president since Richard Nixon), without realizing it, tells the truth. He admits that, under a Cruz Administration “The Nation must be prepared for the possibility of multiple, near-simultaneous conflicts.”

So there you have it. A vote for Cruz is a vote for constant, yet shifting, war.

Not sure that works on a slogan, though.

%d bloggers like this: