L’il Douché needs friends…

Has David Brooks started partaking of New York’s newly-medicinal marijuana? That’s about the only explanation I can come up with after reading his column in today’s Times. And as someone who has, at times, written under the influence, I’d like to proffer some small advice: wait until you’re sober before you hit “send.” Otherwise, you can end up publishing something as embarrassing as “A Gift For Donald Tr**p.

That title is not a joke. It’s not a parody of a Right Wing children’s book, like the execrable Rush Revere series, or Bill O’Reilly’s illustrated lectures on civility. (I would hope  parents would not give their kids a book by someone they wouldn’t allow to be alone in a room with them; I imagine their popularity stems from the books’ utility as a punishment threat: “You better clean your room, or I’ll make you read Kids Are American’s Too!“). No, David Brooks really wants to give Il Douché a “single trait to help his presidency.” After  taking some 453 words (of an 813-word column), where he considers—but rejects—prudence (he wants to help Trump, but not that much), and disinterring  the “Big Shaggy” a phrase that, sadly, had nothing to do with the musician  or Scooby-Doo, but instead refers to a phrase he coined in a 2010 column, which neither Brooks, or anyone else, has used until today, according to a search on the NYTimes.com, he finally comes to some kind of point.

What Brooks wants to confer on Tr**p is “fraternity.” He wants the the president to be able to make friends.

But instead of reaching the  conclusion that Il Douché acts like someone who had no one come to his 10th birthday party and is loaded for payback, Brooks just wants everyone to get along, even though he doubts that will happen. But he holds out hope. I think he shouldn’t bogart that joint.

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About Steven Mirkin

Steven Mirkin’s diverse career has taken him from politics to pop culture to high art, offering him a front row seat to some of the most fascinating events and personalities of our time: writing speeches, fundraising appeals and campaign materials for Ed Koch, John Heinz and independent presidential candidate John B. Anderson; chronicling the punk/new wave scenes in New York and London; interviewing musicians such as Elton John, John Lydon and Buck Owens; profiling modern masters Julian Schnabel, Paul Schrader and Jonathan Safran Foer; and writing for TV shows including 21, The Chamber, Let's Make A Deal, and Rock Star: INXS. He currently edits Obitmagazine.com. View all posts by Steven Mirkin

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