Il Douché finally let go of Corey Lewandowski, his pugnacious, overmatched campaign manager and the winner of this year’s H.R. Halderman charm school and hair salon trophy. And it was not pretty. Staff meeting at 8, unemployed by 9.
According to Breitbart, a website that trawls the bottom of the Right-wing internet swamp, giving it the best chance of getting the campaign’s least-filtered Cheeto dust, it was even uglier than you imagined. According to their story—no link, I’m not going to send any traffic their way—Lewandowski was let go in a way that makes it easy to believe that the Boardroom scenes in “The Apprentice” were not too far removed from reality:
“At the meeting, attended by both senior campaign staff and members of the family, Trump reviewed different campaign metrics that were all faltering: cooperation with party leaders, fundraising, surrogate operations and most importantly the polls,” all aspects of the campaign where Lewandowski was, for lack of a better term, “project manager.” And when asked what can be done to stop the bleeding, his best idea was to announce the VP candidate.
That got a “you’re fired” from Il Douché, and a statement distributed by the campaign that wouldn’t have been out-of-place in a Variety story: “The Donald J. Trump Campaign for President, which has set a historic record in the Republican Primary having received almost 14 million votes, has today announced that Corey Lewandowski will no longer be working with the campaign. The campaign is grateful to Corey for his hard work and dedication and we wish him the best in the future.” I’m especially enamored by the clunkiness of “Donald J. Trump Campaign for President,” followed by a parenthetical boast. I can think of so many others that work just as well: The Donald J. Trump Campaign for President, celebrating one year of being proudly fact-free; The Donald J. Trump Campaign for President, on a course for a record-breaking loss in the general election… add your suggestions in the comments section.
The reaction from Breitbart’s anonymous source (although given the dismissive nature of the comments, it could be “John Miller”) follows suit, sounding less like a campaign operative than a network marketing executive: “The VP pick was the one piece of suspense that would make people tune into the convention—Corey wanted to give that away now? There was no way.”
Or to put it another way: Corey Lewandowski is the second instance of a man being killed over lousy ratings.