Monthly Archives: March 2016

Never Waste a Crisis…

Remember when the GOP took to their fainting couch over Rahm Emmanuel’s belief  that you “never let a crisis go to waste“? Well, Ted Cruz obviously never got the memo.

Mere hours after the tragic bombings in Brussels, before we even know how many were killed in this latest tragedy, Ted was out on the hustings, making sure this crisis was of maximum utility, one that allows him to claim that his jack-boot over-reactions are rational policies. Repeating the words “radical Islamic terrorism” didn’t have the magic effect Frank Gaffney said it would, and the adults in the room refuse to carpet bomb anyone, so why not try some good old-fashioned police action.

You have to worry what kind of mind believes that having police forces, armed to the teeth and looking like they’ve stepped out of a battlefield (because munitions makers have never been known to let an international crisis go to waste), acting like an occupying force in your neighborhood certainly would tamp down radicalization. Yes, because having the government look like they’ve declared war against you wouldn’t buttress an ISIS recruiter’s sales pitch.

Not that Trump’s been any better, but this time Ted almost made Him seem reasonable.

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Trump Cards

Donald Trump–Il Douché, He who would make America great again–only gets scarier. Talking to the Washington Post, he announced his foreign policy brain trust–that is, after His brain which, as he has bragged, is also very big (or, as he might put it, He has no problems “up there”). They’re a motley group, assembled from the spare parts left over from the Bush years, a couple of energy and munitions businessmen, and a cast-off from the Carson campaign (so, Il Douché didn’t only promise Ben a job, He extended his largess to his advisors).

But the big takeaway from His chat with the Post’s editorial board (He actually showed up to their new offices, the Post’s story squealed, the “take that, cable news shows” implied, like a high school co-ed telling her friends the school’s star QB is coming to her party) is that Europe shouldn’t feel so superior these days. After scaring the crap out of the Middle East, Asia, and Latin America, he now aims his powerful deal-making intellect on the Continent. And guess what? We don’t need them.

His big idea: diminish the US role in NATO. Yes, you read that right. He’s taken out that “Make America Great Again” green eyeshade, run the numbers through his Trump-branded calculator, and sorry, Europe, they just don’t add up. Does the US benefit? “Personally, I don’t think so….I think we were a very powerful, very wealthy country, and we are a poor country now.”

Because the first way to make any country great is to shrug and demand a diminished presence on the world stage.

I know he probably wouldn’t allow it, but perhaps Randy Newman can allow Il Douché to use this song as a theme….


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